What Is My Condition Really? and Alprazolam dosing

I guess I've been interchanging the use of anxiety and depression a lot. All I know is since the Alprazolam provided near-instant relief to my state of mind (at least in today's case.. other cases, the tendency is for the sleepiness it induces to overwhelm the relief it brings).

Anyway, here is a breakdown of what I feel that prompts me to take the Alprazolam. I may speculate if these symptoms fit depression, anxiety, or another DSM-IV defined illness, but until I consult a professional, I may never be entirely sure:

a. When encountering other people, I try to put on as best of a happy face/attitude as possible to make people think that I am okay, but deep inside, I feel like ending the conversation/contact as best as I can, without seeming too rude. (It must still appear that way to them though) (A previous internet search showed me that this may be Schizoid / Avoidant Personality)
b. Work seems to be a much more daunting and tiring endeavor than it usually is. Just the thought of initiating it and accomplishing something is painful and depressing.
c. There is a tendency for obsessive searching online for a current sign or symptom that I am experiencing. This has made me more aware of a lot of disorders, and consequently adds to my fear of an underlying condition that remains undiagnosed, which may cause me to fail in life (either by reducing my chances at a married / family life to 0, to go insane, or to commit suicide ) (This appears to fit the description of a hypochondriac)
d. The obsession also applies to other things, like planned purchases, or for existing situations that need to be solved (such as the stability of my new PC, or its tendency to stutter on certain games bought on Steam). I really trawl through numerous sites to find a possible workaround / permanent solution, and become eager to test it out immediately)
e. An overwhelming fear that all emotions I express are superficial, and that I already emotionally numb/dead inside. But on pther times, I feel extremely sad and lonely, and that these are the only genuine emotions I will ever have)
f. Impatience. I could never right, let alone proofread a post this long in my untreated state of mind.

There may be more, but those are the ones that come to mind in my current Alprazolam-uplifted state.

On Alprazolam dosing side-effects:
1. I initially tried one whole .5 mg tablet when first prescribed Xanax (generic name: Alprazolam) by the neurologist. It worked, of course, but made me hella sleepy! This was to the point of narcolepsy.
2. Half a tablet was much the same.
3. One-fourth appears to be the sweet spot, for now. I just drink the other half of a half if I feel the drug's effects are inadequate. Addendum: 1/4 still makes me a little drowsy, even after a few sips of coffe. I may have to make another cup, and hope the antibiotics killing off my H. Pylori will allow me to stay acid free)