About a week ago, there was a new addition to the college/part-time working students in my carlift. She is quite pretty, slightly "chinita", and fair-skinned. I am still confused as to what I feel about it, because of my tendency for emotional numbness (I might have Schizoid or Avoidant Personality Syndrome, add that to the hypochondriac list!). Anyway, she seemed quieter than the other girls in the group, but still relatively outgoing.
Just yesterday, our eyes met for a short while (cheesy, I know), but, given my facial features, she may have taken that wrongly (I have a history of giving other people looks that are taken the wrong way, damn). To my surprise, she sat beside me today. Given my penchant for being "torpe" , I didn't even strike up a conversation, and pretended to sleep, as I usually do every morning trip! Gah, what a fool I am.. Anyway, one of the Pinay girls left her keychain, and returning it tomorrow might give me that chance to strike up a conversation. I'll be lucky if she sits beside me again though, huhuhu. I may even ask her name from one of her coworkers, the guy whom I ride with when going home. (My carlift driver separated the trips going home, and unfortunately, she now rides with the trip that passes by Sahara Mall, where she gets off together with most of them. Is she even single? Have I matured enough for a decent relationship, given that my last one, I was an overly-paranoid, horny teenager? )
On the other hand, I'm still experiencing anxiety attacks in the office, which I combat with half a tablet of Alprazolam (.25mg Xanax). This coincides with my consistent hyperacidity, pain that radiates to the ribs, and leg shaking, along with occasional nausea, and bloating. For this week, I am taking my PPI at night, together with Ranitidine before meals, Gaviscon syrup after meals, and Domperidone for any nausea. These were all prescribed by my Gastroenterologist (he didn't ask me to continue the Ranitidine though, but I'm desparate for this to heal. I may even have Crohn's disease, or a Vitamin B12 / Iron deficiency!), whom I was supposed to return to last Saturday for the post-gastroscopy follow-up and biopsy results. I couldn't make it however, as I am down to a few Dirhams, and can't afford to shed out the 55 AED needed for consultation. Please, please, please, let this stop! I wanna relax at work!
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